Awkward palm tree.

Fictional Omegle (as in, it really happened, but is about fiction.)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: AVADA KEDAVRA
Stranger: SHI-
You: :D
Stranger: duuude, why'dyou kill me :(
You: ...aren't you harry?
Stranger: no man!! im cedric!
You: oh. then because you're edward cullen. i dislike him.
Stranger: hmm. same.
You: see.
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: so.
Stranger: awkward silence, huh?
You: yyyyeah.
You: heh.
Stranger: *whistles*
You: what do you say to someone after you killed them, y'know.
Stranger: yeah, exactly
You: we can bash twilight together?
Stranger: especially if you didnt mean to kill them
You: although that's been overdone.
Stranger: well, apparently im edward cullen
You: but you dislike him as well
Stranger: so...uh... i dunno. feels a bit... hypocritical
You: mmyeah i suppose.
Stranger: yes... i do hate myself.
You: that's sad. have you tried seeing a therapist?
Stranger: i look like a foot.
You: YES.
You: i'm sorry, truth hurts.
Stranger: i tried to see a therapist
You: and?
Stranger: then i got hungry and tried to eat her, but THEN i realised i shouldnt because im not a real vampire. so i started crying and cutting myself and masturbating.
You: and sparkling
Stranger: its a hard life, y'know?
You: like a fairy
Stranger: yes.
You: i'm sorry
You: can't you get that operated or something?
Stranger: all the real vampires tease me.
Stranger: *sob* dracula called me... he called me a sissy *wails*
You: yeah guess it's tough life around dracula and co.
You: awww *pat*
Stranger: *sniff*
Stranger: ill be okay.
You: yeah. you don't really have a choice. kind of a hassle committing suicide when you're immortal. i'd know.
Stranger: yeah. takes a lot of strength to shove that stake in the heart
Stranger: and seeing as im a fucking fairy foot
Stranger: i cant :(
You: foot is such a great description
Stranger: i laugh everytime i hear it
You: i take my hypothetical hat off for that
Stranger: but then i remember its about me. and then, obviously, i cry and masturbate etc etc
You: what's with the bella chick
You: she don't help you get over it?
Stranger: mate, if i only knew.
You: make you feel beautiful?
Stranger: bitch wont put out
You: although i always had a hunch you had a thing for jacob...
Stranger: and then
Stranger: GET THIS
Stranger: she goes off and gets all friendly with this dog!!
Stranger: i mean what the hell?!
Stranger: hes a dog!!!
You: which you had a thing for?
Stranger: SHUT UP MAN
You: shh it's ok, happens to the best of us yo. i'm open minded
Stranger: HE FINDS OUT, HES GONNA RAPE ME
You: you know you waaant it. hence it won't constitute as rape.
Stranger: probably with his shirt off.
You: rawr.
Stranger: oh... oh god i do!! dont judge me, but i do :'(
You: it's ok
You: don't tell anyone...
You: dumbledore and i...
Stranger: ....shit....jacob? is that you?
You: we had a thing...
You: back in the day...
You: but SHHH
Stranger: he was your teacher!!!
You: nah sorry to let you down
You: i know, hot huh?
Stranger: dear lord!!
You: literally lord. lord voldermort, for you.
Stranger: we're actually the same age, him and i.
Stranger: i and him.
Stranger: we
Stranger: us
You: you and dumby?
Stranger: we caused quite the ruckus in our day
You: :O
Stranger: yes
You: we screwed the same man?!
You: shit, small world.
Stranger: i know, right?
Stranger: well, its been wonderful passive - aggressively abusing twilight with you.
You: you too :D
Stranger: TOODLES!!!
Stranger: try not to shag dumby again
You: NOT HSM
Stranger: hes getting frail
You: allright, you good luck with the dogs
Stranger: was that from hsm? my bad. *whips self*
You: better whip it. whip it hard.
You: i have to go now.
You: nice talking to you :D
Stranger: ...*awkward*
Stranger: same!
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.