Awkward palm tree.

THIS IS HILARITY XDD (Brought to my attention via FB by my awesome friend, Aki <3 )

Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella. 
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed. 
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van. 
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won’t kill boys. He won’t kill girls. 
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He’s a tracker. 
He’s a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill. 
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite. 
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella’s cut. 
She won’t be a vampire. 
But…

She becomes one. Read some more. 
She’s a vampire in book 4.